The Complexity of Culture

I have a blog all typed up and ready to post but it will have to wait. Instead, I would like to tell you about something that is pressing on my heart at the moment.

When I was here in Papua New Guinea as a teenager I had quite a narrow view of PNG culture. With my impressive two weeks of language and culture training, living in a community of mostly missionaries and their kids, and my many years of third-culture experience, I believed I had it all figured out. A girl at my school was hurt by a Papua New Guinean man and all the sudden I deemed everyone in this country to be mean and bad. I even developed a fear and frustration toward Papua New Guineans so much so that I right out told God I never wanted to return.

As you can see...God and I worked some things out. In January of 2011 my plane landed in Madang, a small town where I would spend 16 weeks attending language and culture training. Though nervous, God walked me through my fears, misconceptions, and frustrations. The last day of our training, my group was waiting to leave our shopping trip when one of our leaders got robbed. Catching him in the act, I screamed at the top of my lungs "STILMAN", which means just that...man who is stealing. Startled, he backed up quickly and began to run. I'm sure he didn't anticipate my continual screams and pointing. As I was screaming a mob of people who didn't even know me tackled him to the ground and proceeded to take him to the police.

On the way home, I realized something. I realized that I no longer believed as I did when I was a teen. When one person sinned, he was the sinner...not his whole family or his whole country. Something inside of me had changed during this time of training. I had been welcomed into a Papua New Guinean family's house, into their village, and lived with them for five weeks. They had sheltered, cared for, loved, and protected me. They had become my friends. There were Papua New Guinean helpers at our training course who had helped me learn the language over tea every day. Instead of seeing them as "different," I saw them as children of God, as fellow Christian workers. This thief helped me notice the goodness of the Papua New Guinean people around me. He was stealing, but everyone else was helping us...even though we were strangers to them. They didn't want this guy giving them a bad name just like I don't want thieves in my country giving the United States a bad name.

I was reminded of these things this morning when my eight Papua New Guinean students came into class laughing about a fight that had occurred between two neighboring villages. They were obviously not aware of the consequences of such fighting and its seriousness . Changing my morning plans, as teachers often do, I decided to sit them down and give them a chance to talk through the situation.

We talked about the way of our cultures and the way of God. I explained that as Christians we need to look closely at the way our families and relatives have done things and ask ourselves, "Is this the best way?" I told them that there are many things in my culture that I don't feel like God would be happy with me doing: drinking too much, I told them, or neglecting children - things I thought second graders would understand. As followers of Christ we can't always follow the ways of our culture. If the Bible doesn't agree with how our culture and family have always done things, I told them, then we need to make a decision. It might be pretty hard. 

 And then we talked about things in this country that are contrary to the will of God . We talked about fighting and why people fight. Often a lot of little things build up and finally it all comes out. Sometimes they are not "walking in the way of the Lord" as Jeremiah says. I reminded them of Joseph's brothers. They didn't start with hatred...they started with jealousy and it slowly built into frustration, anger, and then hatred.

We prayed, and I told them that the desire of my heart is to see them grow into godly men and women who think of others above themselves. People who serve the Lord no matter what their job is, who seek peace and offer forgiveness. After praying, my students shared other stories of things they had experienced or heard. I was given the opportunity to tell them about the power of Jesus' name and encourage them to follow the examples of the godly Papua New Guinean men and women that work among us here in Ukarumpa.

My talk with them lasted about forty-five minutes or so. Afterwards we went on with the day, but my heart remained in our discussion. Every good teacher wants their students to succeed and grow in wisdom and discipline. Working in a different culture has challenged me. What will become of them? Their culture is very different than mine. Opportunities are limited. But I don't care as much about their academic abilities as I do their hearts. Will they choose to follow "the way of the Lord"? Will they study the Word? Will they proclaim peace, forgiveness, and love? Pray with me that they will.

The past two weeks

Ever since I have known Alan, he has spoken highly of Rugby. It was his home away from home. He spoke of if with fond memories. Everyone who heard of this rustic mountainous town in Tennessee, wanted to go for one reason or another. I promised Alan that when we were back in the states we would go. Now that we are back, it turns out, we will be able to go twice during our five week trip.

We have been in the states for two weeks now. Quite a lot has happened. We flew into Dallas, Texas and stayed a night with my friend Lynn. It was great for her to finally meet my soon to be husband. Lynn and I have been friends since we were little girls. I assure you all, she approves of my choosing!

In Dallas we picked up a beautiful red 2005 Pontiac Vibe. A Wycliffe member was buying it for his recently married daughter and needed to get it from Dallas to Orlando. We volunteered to take it to Charlotte, North Carolina. The car worked great! After driving pieced together cars in Papua New Guinea, this was a treat! God was gracious to us by providing this car. It certainly saved us money but also gave us freedom.

After visiting Lynn we began our road trip from Dallas to Alabama. In the past two weeks we have been in Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, North Carolina, and South Carolina. We really aren't trying to win a "how many states can you get to in five week" challenge. It was so nice to be on smooth roads, driving faster than 30 miles per hour (our typical driving speed on our center), and just being able to be alone.

We spent a week in Alabama together visiting Alan's family. Alan became my tour guide, and what a tour guide he was. He took me to the house he grew up in, the house he lived in when he was in college (affectionately called the Wolary), where he used to work, and to a variety of delicious restaurants. What a cute area! It was fun to go places with him. He also introduced me to his friends, who I feel, will quickly become my friends. It is comforting to know that when we are in the states we will have a place to "fit".

I met his family that week, his parents, two brothers and my future sister-in-laws. They are lovely! I had no idea that I was loved so much by people who hardly knew me. It sure makes things easier. We were showered by hugs and gifts from his parents. My mother has also expressed her delight that I am marrying into a family that cares for me so much.

The first weekend we all headed to Rugby. Alan's older brother and wife came up from Atlanta. We all met at their family house, Martin Roost. This house was built by Alan's great grandfather. We took a walk and I admired it's simplicity, age, and beauty. I was honored to receive the Halbrooks' tour, which, I have been told, is the best! They introduced me to the waterfall, which I proceeded to jump off into a icy cold pool below. I received a lesson on catching fish with a homemade fishing pole and a lesson on removing a fish from the hook (something I have always been terrified to do). Alan and his brother Ben proved their manliness by slathering mud on their bodies and doing a war dance. I, may I add, did not participate in this. We were later treated by a delicious four course dinner at a cozy bed and breakfast owned by a close friend of the family.

Although it was a short visit, it will always be in my memory. In the midst of wedding preparation, travel, and other stresses...a rest in the mountains of Tennessee was very much needed and welcomed. I have been initiated into the family. Alan and I will return in a little while and I am sure I will have just as much fun, if not more.

In five days we will be married. I can't believe it is so close! Tonight Alan travels from Alabama to North Carolina...to me! I can't wait! He had stayed in Alabama another week while I went to North Carolina to help my mother with wedding preparations. Each day brings more and more people to Waxhaw for the big day. July 5th can not come any sooner! There are so many people that I want to see and so many things I want to do, but there is just so little time.

Twinkle

The eyes of my five Papua New Guinean students twinkled when they were informed of our newest Social Studies topic- Papua New Guinea. As they sat up straighter I could see the pride well up inside each one. Over the next few weeks, the class would be studying their country. That meant...they were the experts. 

School rarely comes easily to these students. They have worked very hard to learn everything, beginning with the English language. So when the occasion arises like this one, where they don't have to fight so hard to learn something new, they seize it. They become the leaders.

I, on the other hand, struggle a bit with our Social Studies units. Each term we study a different country. So far we have studied Australia, USA, Japan and now PNG. Being an American who grew up in Colombia, my limited knowledge is evident. It's a good think I am teaching eight and nine year olds!

To begin our PNG studies unit the children were sent outside to find materials to build a traditional bush house. They were given the option of gluing it down on a piece of paper or building a 3-D model. This project may take a few weeks, but in my perspective, it has peeked their interest. 

Our classroom is currently sprinkled with kunai grass, twigs, branches, pieces of plants and banana leaves. Multiple students begged to skip recess and Music class in order to work on their houses. "Wait until tomorrow", they were told. As they left the classroom to go home, I could hear them planning with each other and comparing notes. Isn't it wonderful! They are learning and they don't even realize it!

Walking home today I thanked God for the ability and desire to learn. It doesn't come easily to all of us, and it certainly never has for me, but I am able. As a teacher, I hope I never forget the twinkle in the eyes of students, the dedication of the struggling, the accomplishments...even the small ones, and the pride of belonging.

No Water

In Ukarumpa we get water from two places: the rain and the river. The rain falls on our roofs, runs through our gutters and is deposited into a large tank, called a water tank. This water is mostly used for drinking. (this my sound disgusting to some but when you live in a county with very little pollution- in comparison, the water is much cleaner. But that doesn't keep some people from filtering their water)
River water pumps from the river and into our houses. We affectionately call it ram water. This water is often used in our toilets and washing machines. Which water is used when, depends heavily on the size of your tank and the size of your family. Being a single gal and living with another single gal in a house designed for a family of seven, our tank is almost always filled (if not, we have back up tank). The only thing we use ram water for is our toilets and our laundry room sink. Everything else in our house is on tank water. It is not uncommon to be at a families house that has ram water in the shower, the washing machine and some of the water faucets. (you can see the darker tint of the ram water in the picture below)

Now that you understand how the water system works in our little community I will tell you how it is not working at the school, at present. The first day back at school this term, we were informed that the water pump (connected to the rain water tank) on the Grades 2-6 side of the Primary Campus, was not functioning properly. The pump had been damaged and needed to be fixed. This meant that for a few weeks we had NO water on our side of campus. I am guessing it was because they didn't want to pump up river water while they were fixing the pump.

If you have ever taught in a school in America you would know that this situation would be DEVASTATING! School would probably close. Sanitizers would be bought all over town. If school weren't closed, children would bring in gallons of water to compensate! I can only imagine the problems it would cause. (I take this all back, because it wouldn't happen. A worker would come in and it would be fixed with in the hour. It must be nice to have resources readily available.) But this is not what happened here.

Unlike America, these kids get their "allotted amount of dirt" per day (not by any desire of their parents). They climb trees, play in mud, they are almost always...dirty. Even on Sunday, when their parents try hard to keep them clean, it is inevitable. I can't even keep MYSELF clean walking from my house to the school. We live on dirt roads. In a country where it rains regularly. So when everyone heard there would be no water...nothing really changed. My students didn't bother to wash their hands. In fact, I think they thrilled that they couldn't.

By the third day, I was a bit disgusted. I had run home that afternoon and the first thing I did, was wash my hands. It hit me then that there is really no reason why I couldn't sanitize my students. Before heading to school the following day I grabbed my faithful travel sanitizer. (Honestly, it hasn't been touched since I was in the village two years ago) Thankfully they all thought it was great fun to watch the sanitizer dissolve on their hands and were always begging for more.

Our days without water quickly came to an end, but now, I had another problem. Since our water hadn't been working for a while, my students would often go to the sink and turn it on. When no water would come out they would walk away, like any child would. Later that day we would return to class and the water would be pouring out of the faucet. This only had to happen one time before I made signs for each faucet. Now anytime the water does not come out of the faucet, we turn the faucet OFF (what a concept) and put the little sign on. They love putting the sign on.

Unfortunately, after only a few days of working, something connected to the water pump died again. We now have to order another part from out of country that will likely take a few months. The ram water was turned on again and now flows through all the sinks and toliets on the Grade 2-6 side. I have put away my sanitizer and sucum to the idea of my students washing their hands in river water. If they use soap they should be fine, right? haha! It won't kill them. If anything, they will have a better immune system. I still look forward to the day where I can fill my water bottle up in the sink again.

I'm still alive

Dear all,
I know, it's been a while. Things have been pretty crazy lately. The school term finished and was quickly followed by a week long lesson on child rearing. My sister Kelly and her husband were invited to attend the senior retreat as sponsors which left me with the three kiddos. Three pea-pods between the ages of 1-6 is A LOT of work! Alan, my faithful fiance, was wonderful that whole week. He helped me cook, played with the kids, disciplined, cleaned and he even kept ME sane. It is amazing what a couple can learn when caring for someone else's kids (if anything...to wait for a while ;).

The last day of Stewart-sitting Alan and I were determined to straighten the house. First of all we had to decrease the number of mess-makers so we dropped Will off at nursery and kept the girls. On the way to Kelly's house we decided to stop by my house for a spell. Upon approaching we noticed my house was covered in shiny black video tape. I was thrilled! In our community being "taped" means you are loved. It's almost like a way of passing. My crazy eighth grade girls did a marvelous job decorated or bilasim (as we say in tok-pisin) our house that we could hardly open the front door.

In the process of taking pictures and playing in the tape, Alan proceeded to sprain his ankle. Poor little lamb! This is when our friend Leah was recruited. How do mom's do it on their own? Knowing I couldn't, Leah was glad to help. The children were all very concerned about Uncle Alan's ankle. Baby Gwennie and Piper wrapped their legs with ace bandages. Will kept asking questions about Uncle Alan's boo-boo. Kelly and Paul returned that afternoon to an injured future brother-in-law and an exhausted sister-in-law. The kiddos did great but I was reminded, again, to appreciate the stage of life I am in and to encourage my friends with children.

That night I came down with the flu, a nasty case. Our biennial mission conference began that same day but I don't remember much. I slept and when I was conscious listened to the conference on my computer. The conference lasted a week. Thankfully my flu only lasted a few days. Conference went well. It's not an easy thing to get a few hundred people to agree.

Now I rest before school begins next week. My biggest priorities have been finish the newsletter, blog, work on wedding plans, and prepare for the beginning of school. 

A Gift...

Alan and I received our very first wedding present! How exciting! We were given two pampered chef pots with lids and two tea towels. Boy, this is going to be fun! Thanks for the blessing May.

I'm ENGAGED!!!

 YEP....I'm engaged to Alan Halbrooks! I'm getting married!!!!

Now that's I've got your attention I'll share my story with you.

At this very minute Alan is also blogging about our engagement. So if you would like to hear his side of the story, visit his blog at: http:.//ahalbrooks.wordpress.com

It's true, I'm engaged and to the most wonderful and perfectly suited godly man. (don't get me wrong, he's not perfect) Alan and I have officially been dating five months and it will likely be four months of engagement. You may think it's fast but when you know, you know.

We anticipated that this past week was going to be busy. I knew that Alan would be preaching this Sunday as well as giving his testimony. In attempts to be a "good girlfriend" I gave him space and time to make sure he was prepared. With this in mind, I had no expectation that Alan would propose on Sunday between the two speaking events. He knows I've been wondering so was quite clever in the choosing.

Since I returned from my trip to the states we have been having picnics on Sundays in tree houses on centre. It has become one of our favorite times together. Of all the tree houses on center there is one that trumps them all. The Swiss family Robinson would be proud! This tree house extends between two trees and is connected by a hanging bridge. How cool is that!

Knowing that it was going to be a crazy week, I asked Alan if we could picnic there this Sunday. He asked the family but little did I know that he had planned to propose to me in that tree house.

On Sunday we packed our picnic of grilled cheese, carrots, some strange lime juice, and apples and headed to our next tree house adventure. As we were walking I noticed that the tree house had two green table clothes draping over two sides of the tree house. I told Alan that maybe the family had put them up to give us a bit of privacy (which is something they would do. But no, Alan had put them up.) He agreed that they would do something like that. What a stinker!

We climbed up (tree houses are not designed for adult hips) and ate our lunch. After a while Alan pointed out a basket. I hadn't seen it earlier. He went over to investigate. After inspecting it he told me to come look. As I came nearer I saw that it was a very pretty basket but I still suspected it was one of the kids toys. I think I even told him that there was probably nothing in it. He had tied the basket up to a pulley system, and when it was at my eye level I saw this: a shepherd puppet I had made before we started dating (he always talks about wanting to be a shepherd), a bunch of lovely roses, a sign that read Will you Marry Me? and a ring box with a ring drawn on a band aid (I had a dream that he gave me a band aid-ring and asked if I would be okay with that, since he couldn't get the ring here any sooner). Each item brought a different emotion. The shepherd made me laugh, the flowers made me smile, the question was a shock and also a great excitement, and the ring...well I was not sure WHAT to think about that! haha!

I then turned around to find my boyfriend down on one knee, holding up the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. To be honest this part is all a bit fuzzy. I remember grabbing the ring and wrapping my arms around him screaming, "YES!" I think he was only able to get out the words, "Will you..." before I agreed! Shesh, I'd better be careful. He could have said anything, "Will you hold on it this ring? Will you wash my dishes tonight?" This question was a no-brainer to me. Of course I would marry him!


We left the tree house and started to walk to the Hansen's house. I wasn't quite sure who to tell next or how to tell them. Most of our family back in the states were sleeping already. We agreed to go to the Hansen's. I pushed open the door and there they were, all my friends! My sister Kelly and her family were there along with Brandy (my new roommate), Mandy (my last roommate) and her husband Steve, my friends Donna and Leah and of course the Hansen family. I was shocked and also very excited! They were the first ones I shared my story with. The rest of the day we shared with whomever would listen.

That night at youth group, Alan shared his testimony. He talked about all the different stages of his life. At the end he said something to the affect of, "And now I will begin a new stage, that of marriage because I am now officially engaged to Amanda Wulff." All the teens and adults started to cheer. I lifted up my hand in agreement but I kept my eyes on my future husband. I am proud to be his fiance and soon...his wife.

Flamingoed

One night when my eighth grade community group was over we discovered that my lawn had been claimed by four plastic flamingos. The girls began to giggle as I joyfully interrogated them to see if they had "flocked" me. They claimed it wasn't them. I looked at my new "friends" and came inside. They had been placed between my house and my neighbors so I was not quite sure if it was intended for me. Opening my computer I found this message:

Dear Amanda and Alan, 

I'm not sure whose house is currently flocked, so I'm sending this to both of you. You’ve been flocked by the Ukarumpa Youth Ministry Flamingos! This is a fundraiser for the Middle School Retreat. You can pay K10 (around $5) to have them moved immediately (or as soon as is convenient for our “flock movers”) to a yard of your choosing, or wait and by this time tomorrow, they will migrate to another location. Once they are gone, you can pay K10 for “flock insurance” to keep them from returning (insurance is valid for this week’s “flocking”).

Please take care of our flock by bringing them in at night and putting them back out tomorrow. They do not require food or water.

Thanks for helping out Youth Ministries!

My roommate, Brandy, and I decided we really wanted a "flock" of flamingos in our yard! As a person who is quite bitter toward lawn ornaments and tacky decor, I surprised myself by this desire. I called Alan to tell him what happened and he said that he had flocked me! He had been flocked earlier that afternoon and decided to allow me to share in the joy. The next morning he came over and helped me position them cleverly on the lawn. What fun!

My Girls

Have I mentioned that I lead a community group for eighth grade girls? I do and I love it. They have split the girls up into two groups so I only have six of them. They have been with me since July. Last year one of the senior girls had the group. My girls remind me so much of myself when I was their age. I have even said to two of them that if they were put together they would be me. They laughed, but I wasn’t kidding. Although, I admit, they are sweeter than I was. I remember always getting away with devious plans that some middle school boy with an underdeveloped brain would willingly carry out. Thankfully, they are nothing like that.

Each Wednesday the girls come over to my house and we discuss what they have been learning, we pray together and share with one another. I have really enjoyed these moments with them. They constantly challenge me in my faith. They also remind me to enjoy the little things in life.

Working with middle school, as some of you may know, is also quite tricky. The time frame for deep and meaningful conversation is limited. Some weeks I come off strong, determined to get them to think deeply about a specific topic and they are all giggles. Whereas other weeks they walk in and groan when the time flies. An hour a week is just not enough time.

Lately, I have been trying to find more time to spend with them outside our set community group. In January, I was privileged to be a sponsor at the middle school (7^th and 8^th grade) spiritual retreat. Oh yes, I said privileged. Alan was also one of the sponsors. As we walked to the retreat a few people asked where we were going and I told them. This was met with, “good luck” and “hope you get some sleep.” I walked away thinking, “I am glad I can do this. I enjoy these kids and want to get to know them more especially on a deeper level. If I say yes to something I want to enjoy it and put effort into it.” I guess what I’m trying to say is, we’re all different. Instead of saying “good luck” why not say “thanks for doing that” or “I’m glad you are enthusiastic and willing to invest in our teens.”  Okay, you get my point.

The retreat was great!  It was entitled Extreme Faith. The speaker was easy to relate to and funny, always a plus. Each day we sponsors would lead a small group discussion. The speaker would later gather all the leaders and gage how the teens are responding to his message. It was nice to have a chance to interact with the kids, the adult sponsors and watch as my particular girls grow in their faith.

Alan and I had a lot of fun with the kids as well. We took them to the river and found a ledge to jump from. Attending a spiritual retreat you never know what is going to impact you. Every day I found something that touched my life personally. I found that the more vulnerable and open I was with my girls the more they would be with me, or at least would feel more comfortable to ask the more awkward of questions.

  

Two weekends ago two of my girls were baptized at the river. For some reason, baptisms here always seem to land on rainy days. They had both asked if I would pray for them after they came out of the river. Honored, I agreed. I watched with pride as both of them gave their testimony in front of our umbrella clad community. I teared up as their fathers confirmed their daughters’ devotion to God and lowered them in baptism. Then it was my turn. Zipping my jacket to my chin, I hugged them and began to pray, thanking God for their desires to follow him every day of their lives. Each girl was asked to choose three people to pray for them after they were baptized. All the girls asked their parents and their community leaders to pray with them. This is pretty neat. I hope that God can continue to use me as I minister in their lives.